I LOVE MY MAMA BEAR

Still Shocked

2005-02-01T18:59:09Z

I am updating to anyone that cares. Well today came a big shock. At 9:30 this morning 8:30 Ashleigh's time she had a DR's appointment that was scheduled for a long time now. I think since like October. Well anyways, she went and we found out some news. I am happy, yet I am a bit i dunno what the word is shocked, worried, nevrvous, scared, Hell all of them combined in one big ball of emotion. Well Maybe I should tell you the news as if you can't guess. She got back from the Dr's at well i cant remeber, but called me. I called her back and she told me the news
Ash ~ Well what do you think baby?
Ryan ~ I don't know are you aren't you what?
Ash ~ Yes I am.
Ryan ~ You joking?
Ash ~ No Ryan I am serious I am Pregnant.
Ryan ~ Are you serious?
Ash ~ Yes
Ryan ~ Are you posititve?
Ash ~ Yes {she laughed}
Ryan ~ {I jokingly said} Oh god My moms gonna kill me,

Lol so yea This papa bear is gonna be a Daddy Bear. Wow this is crazy i am still so shocked. Still haven't told my mom because she is at the hospital with my sis, her boy friend and my aunt. They enduced her this morning {forced the birth for those who don't know.} and is still there. They all have their cell phones off so no luck. Last I heard my sis's contractions are 4 mins apart, but she has no pain so still got a bit of a while. Wow what a year for me, Boston Redsox win the world Series after 96 years, Patriots go on to a third super bowl in four years, I get a little Niece {Gianna is what they are gonna name her, born today jus 11days before my birtday} I am moving after living in Mass for well by the time i leave it will be 19 years, and moving in with my girlfriend who will be having my baby in late summer early fall. Wow 2005 has been a crazy year so far and its only in its second month. still 10 more months of this who knows what else will happen. Well I am gonna go work some more on my PR fan fiction. Yes PR as in Power Rangers. Yes I will admit it since Tommy came back I have been obssessed with Power rangers and am writing my own series. Any one else who reads this and likes power rangers hit up www.Rangerboard.com anyways i am out maybe I will update soon who knows Aidos Muchachos and Muchachas

ashies_big_boi @ 2005-01-30T21:17:00

2005-01-31T02:16:39Z

01. Reply with your name and I will write something about you.
02. I will then tell you what song[s] remind me of you.
03. Next, I will tell you who you remind me of, celebrity/animated or otherwise.
04. Last, i will try to name a single word that best describes you.
05. Put this in your journal it is not an option!

ashies_big_boi @ 2005-01-23T16:40:00

2005-01-23T21:42:28Z

http://www.cyborgname.com/

ashies_big_boi @ 2005-01-16T22:42:00

2005-01-17T03:44:08Z

WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF:
» I committed suicide:
» I said I liked you:
» I kissed you:
» I lived next door to you:
» I started smoking:
» I started drinking:
» I stole something:
» I was hospitalized:
» I ran away from home:
» I got into a fight and you weren't there:

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT MY:
» Personality:
» Eyes:
» Face:
» Movie preferences:
» Hair:
» Clothes:
» Mannerisms:
» Musical preferences:

[1] Who are you?
[2] Are we friends?
[3] When and how did we meet?
[4] Have I affected you? How?
[5] What do you think of me?
[6] What's the fondest memory you have of me?
[7] How long do you think we will be friends or enemies?
[8] Do you love me?
[9] Have I ever hurt you?
[10] Would you hug me?
[11] Would you kiss me?
[12] Are we close?
[13] Emotionally, what stands out?
[14] Do you wish I was cooler?
[15] On a scale of 1-10, how nice am I?
[16] Give me a nickname and explain why you picked it.
[17] Am I loveable?
[18] How long have you known me?
[19] Describe me in one word.
[20] What was your first impression?
[21] Do you still think that way about me now?
[22] What do you think my weakness is?
[23] Do you think I'll get married?
[24] What about me makes you happy?
[25] What about me makes you sad?
[26] What reminds you of me?
[27] What's something you would change about me?
[29] How well do you know me?
[29] Ever wanted to tell me something but couldn't?
[30] Do you think I would ever kill someone?
[31] Are you going to put this on your journal and see what I say about you?

Why?

2005-01-04T23:33:42Z

Why is it that this bed that seemed so crowded for the past two weeks. The one that was so uncomfortable at times with Ash and I both sleeping in ackward postions why is it that I can only sleep the way I was when she was here on my side at the edge? Why is it so hard and uncomfortable for me to stretch out on my bed and be at one with myself. Why do I keep on crying no matter how many time I have tried to stop. Why does the most dumb things remind me of her? I want her back now. I can't fucking wait till april till I move there. I wish it was april now. Fuck my birthday next month. I want my girl now here with me of me being with her. No matter where I am as long i have her hand in mine. I feel so comfortable when I am with her. She does something to me that no one else ever can. I don't feel like I am a big guy with her. I feel like i am a normal person and I think and hope she feels the same way. I can't wait till she calls me hopefully it will be soon. I can't wait to hear Ryan I landed. Hell even though it will be in Chicago I atleast get to know she is safe and with her family. God wow I need to go lay down for a while. Glad I called work today and told them I wont be back 2marro i will be in thursday. I am in no shape to be in work 2marrow I need the day to release it all and get back in to what I like to call "Without Ash Mode"

Life sucks again!

2005-01-04T21:32:13Z

So today was the day Ashy went back to Decatur and it also seems like it is the day I can't stop crying. Jesus all these tears just burn my eyes. Everything I see here reminds me of her. How can it not. Past 15 days we have been in this room and now I am here alone. Our Empty water bottles still in here. Some stuff she left behind as well. No matter where I go something reminds me of her. This is so freaking hard. Just went from haveing the best 15 days of my life and now I am gonna have the worst 3 months of my life waiting till I more there in april. I cried so much on the way home from the airport. Now I sit here in front of the computer crying my eyes out but being quiet so no one can here me. I can't even talk with ash till probably 9 or 10 oclock tonite her time which will be 10 or 11 my time and I know most of the talk will be the I miss yous and I love yous and constant crying. Well I am gonna leave this live journal like this for now.

Crazed!

2004-10-28T13:11:47Z

I am so fucking Happy right now. Red sox kick major ass and win the World Series for the first time in 86 years. The curse is gone, lifted what ever there is nothing holding Boston down now. AHHHH so freaking happy woo hoo. Jesus wow so happy. Its crazy in the past four years I have seen two Patriots super bowl wins, and now Red sox win the world series wow fucking hell i am almost in tears thats how happy I am. So fuckning crazy. The thing that sucks is that the parade for the sox will be on Saturday and i have to work. Would call in sick but i do that to much and I need the money more then standing in boston watching a team go by on the duck boats. Ehh oh well. Still going crazy with the seasons and all. Like i have been buying horror movies like crazy and i am getting the hunger for turkey lol. I know I am insane and the minute i am done eating that dinner in a little less then a month I will be in christmas mode. I can't wait for christmas. I get two weeks off from work and the best part of that is those two weeks are with my babi gurl. Well iam get off her for now. This is my third post on here and i always forget to update it. Sorry to anyone who actually looks at this but here you go now you have something to read today. Ok I am gone to all the people reading this right now I love you all, well not all every one I love you know who you are.

It Always Happens!

2004-10-13T14:09:23Z

Ok, this always seems to happen to me. Nothing bad, well it all depends on how you look at it. About this time every year it hits me. The seasons hit me. We got three in a row Halloween, Thanks Giving, Christmas, New Years. Its like the closer each holiday gets I want to watch some sort of show, movie, listen to the song about that certain holiday. Like right now I am in such a mood to watch Horror Movies because of the upcoming Halloween, and when I go to the mall I always hit that Halloween store which will be opened till Halloween Day then it will close till next october and in its place they will make another holiday shop specific to that upcoming Holiday. I know its weird, but I just can't wait until Christmas.. That is the best Holiday and even more I get Ashleigh up here for two weeks in December I actually get to stand under mistle toe with her and get to kiss her.

FiRsT PoSt!

2004-10-13T01:01:46Z

Hello every one. This as some of you know is my first post. Ok um... Not sure what to say. Saw everyone had a live journal so I was like why the hell don't I have one and so I made one. I was inspired to make one by my babi gurl you should be able to tell that by my user name. I wanna say what up to every one who will view this. Thanks for taking the time out and reading this. I know I must bore you. Ok I am bored. Couldn't find any good horror movies so i picked the next best thing CHRISTMAS MOVIES. I am watching Scrooged. A modern updated greatly version of Charles Dickens Scrooge or as some may know it a Christmas Carol. Although all names have changed and the plot is a bit different it is a great movie. Funny, yet it got the romance thing for the ladies to enjoy as well. Staring Bill Murray. I recomened this movie for the holiday season approaching rapidly or for when your bored out of your mind. Well I can't think of much more to say except thank you Ash, and I can't forget Thena reading her journal also made me want to make one and Thena is a cutie so yeah. I love you Ashleigh, my babi gurl. I am outty Peace.

Ry-Ry